Ephemere (A Beer brewed with apples by Unibroue)

Back when I was a novice beer drinker (about 72 hours ago) I use to tell people that Unibroue (a canadian brewery that does some nice twists on Belgian style beers) was my favorite brewery.  That was before I had tried Ephemere.  The name is french for ephemeral(I think) and (like many of the Unibroue beers) is linked to a Legend.

Legend has it that that an Ambitious Fairy decided to show herself to a farmer(this was not ok because Fairy's will lose their magical powers if they show themselves to humans(unless that particular human is Peter Pan but, I digress)).

The fairy appeared to the farmer while he was riding in his carriage and took over the reigns.  She led him deep into the orchards where she laid with him.

This beer pays tribute to the ephemeral nature of the seasons and the risque fairy that laid with the farmer and then disappeared at sun down.

I can't remember how the farmer is linked to the beer at all.  Maybe he was an apple farmer.  Yes, let's say that he was an apple farmer for the sake of my progeny who read this.  They will at least find some solace in my rationality.  Wow, huge digression, back to the problem.

I find this "back story" inconsistent with contemporary fairy lore.  We all know that fairies will come back to life if we all say "I do, I do, I do believe in fairies."  That is fairy lesson number one.  This fact alone left a bitter taste in my mouth the sweetness of the beer could not touch.

I would like to rename this beer the "Harbinger of the 'Opposite of Flavor.'"  This new name is not note-worthy or clever...just like the flavors of this beer.

This beer is a twist on the popular belgian white ale (top fermented beer usually brewed with coriander, orange peel and...I think something else...the other ingredient escapes me at the moment).  Anyways, popular examples would include "Hoegaarden" and "Allagash" white ale.

Oh, the Spanish brewery named "Estrella Damm" makes a damn good White ale with a bit of licorice in it called "Inedit".  I had it with Alex and we both thought it was Awesome.  She got goose bumps because it reminded her of home(Alex es de Espana).

Yes, I've been meaning to tell you where this beer falls flat(get it: "flat"...it's a pun) and it's that it has very little flavor.  The beer is overwhelmed with a fruity bouquet of apples and maybe a slight pear scent.  It is a cloudy gold color (like unfiltered white ales tend to be) but Taste is below par.  It seems to be a cross between a hard cider and a white ale and it comes up short on both ends.  None of the flavors stand out as "good."

This beer conjures images into the drinker's mind that depict the transitory nature of life.  It grants the possessor a reason to do something profitable with their life.  This reason stems from the fact that life is too short to consume beers of a second rate standing.

Though this is the case this beer has its place.  It is a not so bitter (only 10 IBU's) yet overwhelmingly sweet reason to live life to the fullest and not waist a moment of the gift we named "life."

Eat, drink and be Joyous!

-Ryan, Beer Aficionado

Special Thanks to Ah Saum.  She always rekindles my joy in writing.  Your words and diligence inspire me.

"Dundee" with no Crocodiles

Look at this image
for educational
reasons only.
Do not consume this
beverage because
of this image.

I recently had the opportunity of trying Dundee's IPA with my good friend Alex.  IPA's are not my usual favorite with their excessive bitterness and all, but this one was pleasantly refreshing.  Alex commented that the beer had the "bitterness of velvet" and the "softness of pillow cushions."  This description is completely accurate and not much more insight into the beer need be given.

Fan of IPA's Owen Smigelski(he appears to be some writer for Examiner.com) writes this: "When tasted, hops is almost totally lacking.  There is also no bitterness [...]. Without any hops or bitter flavor, this is one beer that fails to live up to the IPA name. Although the beer itself has a decent flavor, it is certainly not an India Pale Ale, and thus a disappointment."

An IPA that does not taste like an IPA?  This is a victory.  

It appears as though the extreme bitterness of IPA's(Indian Pale Ale) came out of a time when excessive hopping(hops gives the beer it's bitterness) was one of the few ways to preserve the beer over long ship voyages.  They were fixing a problem that we no longer have.

In the face of no beer or an excessively bitter beer, of course we choose the beer.  That is a given.  But, given the choice between Flavors blended nicely with a "velvety" bitter finish and anything from "Stone Brewery"(they definitely know where to find bittering hops) we must let our good sense decide.

I, for one, choose the taste of "pillow cushions and velvet."

Until next time remember, there is a reason being bitter is a bad thing...nobody will want to play with you...expect that weird guy.

Special thanks to Alex(beer enthusiast with a knack for appropriate imagery)

***All images used are used for educational purposes.

"Midnight Sessions"-the beer

Image used for
educational purposes

Pour me another glass please.  This beer was fantastic!  Midnight Sessions, appropriately renamed Midnight Expressions, is a "Roasty Black Lager" with tons of flavor.  Also done by "Port Brewing" this beer was well balanced with extremely low bitterness.  I tasted some coffee flavors in this delightful lager, probably because of the darker malts, and it was just fantastic.

The ABV was 5.5%, about half the Panzer, but it makes up for this shortcoming with massive taste and mouth feel.  It's a calm relaxing beer that can rock weary beer drinkers into a peaceful slumber.

Oh, about the name of the beer.  The bottle Mike and I enjoyed bore the name "Midnight Sessions."  For some reason this conjured images of, well, promiscuous encounters between young adults.  Not a pleasant thought for someone trying to end a quiet evening peacefully.  After noticing the potentially misleading snafu, it appears that "Port Brewing" went with the more subdued name of "Midnight Expressions."  Now, I'm not sure why Midnight is trying to express anything but I think it is a step in the right direction for Port Brewing's PR team, well done.

Until next time Remember, Happiness is only know by it's relationship to Sadness.  We only know good beers because of the bad ones.  Drink On!

-Ryan, beer Expert

Pizza Port!!!

The first few Beers Mike and I tried were from Port Brewing.  These beers are currently Brewed in San Marcos.  Gina and Vince, co-owners of Pizza Port, started Brewing beer in small quantities for their customers until the demand for their beer became too great.  They have since morphed into Port Brewing and have upped their rate of distribution.  They expanded their operation when Stone Brewery......*Yawn....back to the beer.

Alright, the first one we tried was the 'Panzer Imperial Pilsner.'  Why it is called the Panzer(Panzers were the tanks Hitler used in WW2) and why they invoke symbolism from World War 2 is beyond me.  Unless it has something to do with the Czech Republic(home of the first Pilsner) and Hitler's attempted tyranny in that area which...hmm...I guess could be possible...I will ask Mike, History aficionado, about this.

To go any further we must first know what a pilsner is.  The first Pilsner, named after the city in which it was first brewed (Pilsen) was the first of it's kind to use Bavarian style lagering with the new varieties of 'Noble Hops'.  Most Pilsner's are traditionally made in a similar fashion and what is created from this process is usually a Golden Lager that has a light taste and great smell.

I was unaware of what Noble Hops were so my friends over at Wikipedia told me that Noble Hops "traditionally refer to 4 varieties of Hops that are low in bitterness and high in aroma." Thanks Guys, for your continuing support of the Beer Lovers lexicon.

Seeing as I like beers that are not highly bitter but are flavorful with good aromas, I expected great things from the Panzer(as I'm sure Hitler did).  Mike and I were in somewhat of agreement.  Here are the stats:

Alcohol Content: 9.5% (Mike and I Both approve)

Ryan(one in the center) 

Mike(one on the left)

Smell: Ryan 8/10
           Mike 8/10
(It smelled pretty good)

Taste:Ryan 6/10
         Mike 6/10
(Neither of us thought is was something 'Crazy Good')

Finish: Ryan 5/10 Mike 5/10  (Again nothing special)

Mike nicknamed the Beer the "Pretentious Redneck."  I think that is completely accurate and it is a beer to likely go down in history as a bitter disgrace...like Hitler...

Until next time, always remember: Mike and Ryan are awesome and they have incredibly good taste in beer.

Oh, the next Beer we tried was "Midnight Sessions" also by Port Brewing.  It has since been renamed to Midnight Expressions for reasons I will gladly speculate on.

-Ryan, Beer Expert

Mike and Ryan: Beer Experts

The ugly truth about beer is this: many “Corporate” Breweries are diluting beer’s natural flavors by using rice and adulterating beer's intented taste.  While this drives the cost of beer down it drives me crazy!  If, for some reason, America’s soul was only capable of running on beer letting it have Budweiser would be like trying to run American politics on common sense.  It just wont work.  We must return to how beer is suppose to taste because America's very soul is at stake.

 

Through my years of study it is becoming more and more clear that beer needs plently of malted barley to taste as God intended. 

Set forth by the founders of beer there has traditionally been only four ingredients to a good beer: water, hops, malted barley and yeast.  Though some new variations to the recipe are quite good, it has become easier for corporations to sacrifice quality for the cheaper alternatives: barley with the adulterating effects of rice.

The goal is this: we wish to give you the unbiased facts about beer only biased by us.  We do not expect you all to trust our opinion at first(even though they are going to be entirely accurate and worth reading) but we do hope that you will take the facts and find out for yourselves.  With the appropriate information we will all become keen beer drinkers capable of distinguishing the piss from the heavenly nectar given the name "beer" by the Greek god HellYeah.

We will hold nothing back in our critiques because unlike our beloved politicians, we don't need to lie to you to get ahead.  We rarely agree so you will get more than one biased conclusion...you will get two biased conclusions. 

One more thought before we begin.  Often clouded by corporate warmongers and cut throat advertisers the uninitiated would be led to believe that 'Budweriser' is the 'King of Beers.'  I hope by now you have become sceptical of this.  Be deceived no longer.  Like we do with all politicians and corporate crackheads, we must ignore what they say and find out for ourselves. Let the drinking begin.

first draft *beer*

this is just a test. like everything we do in this blog. we test beer.